This 'uncertain' time has provided an opportunity to pause, reflect, and focus on the truly important things in life. Perhaps ‘social distancing’ has given us the unexpected benefit of establishing much-needed personal boundaries.
We may have experienced some health challenges, as a result of participating in situations with unhealthy boundaries.
As Carl Jung once wrote, at some point in our lives, we all need to “face our souls,” working on our inner-self to heal and transform.
This time also allows us to re-evaluate personal boundaries, appreciating their need and the freedom they generate. Boundaries are empowering, they protect our personal space and energy.
“Personal boundaries are physical, emotional, spiritual, or relational limits that define us as separate from others. Setting boundaries means that instead of taking on other people’s beliefs, standards, and feelings, we become in tune with our own. We learn to develop a more solid sense of self that helps us take control of what is important to us and make decisions that serve our value system.”
- Matot-Massei -
How to Create Healthy Boundaries
Awareness of your thoughts, needs, habits, values, likes, dislikes, and emotional reactions, helps you to fully understand your inner being. This, in turn, helps establish positive relationships with like-minded people.
Becoming aware of stressful and emotionally draining situations allows you to manage yourself. Let go of negativity, what no longer feels right for you.
Become aware of your patterns
Unfortunately, most of us are wedded to our behavior. A pattern will emerge - perhaps this has been the narrative of our lives. Situational behavior becomes habitual. The only way to break this habit is to be fully aware of patterns and reactions - don’t let them breathe.
To make changes, become your own cheerleader. Embrace yourself for who you are, how far you have come. Don’t hide. Acknowledge mistakes, forgive and move on, knowing next time you will do better. The quicker you can accept this the easier life will be. Don’t condemn yourself when you screw up.
Tomorrow is another day.
Before you react, stop and check in with yourself.
Is this a healthy response?
Am I perpetuating the problem?
Am I enabling the behavior?
Is my response based on my own need or fear?
Is this an old pattern that is no longer healthy?
Before responding, take a few deep breaths. A conscious response is better than an emotional reaction.
By remaining calm, you will help yourself and others in your life too. You remain in control and regain power. This requires letting go of any fear and understanding that you will still be loved. Ultimately, this is what it is all about.
Attachment to outcomes - learn to let go
We all experience moments when it’s easier to go with the flow. Often it’s a conscious choice. Self-certainty and trust come in waves. By finding an ability to let go, we find a sense of calm - being in the moment.
Learn to say no
No is a complete sentence. There is no need to feel guilty about expressing yourself. Saying "no" does not require further explanation. You may choose to say, “No, that doesn't work for me,” or “No, that’s not possible.” Nothing else is required.
It’s important to express your feelings and ask for what you need. Find your voice and make sure you are valued. Establish healthy boundaries that empower both you and others in your life.
Your peace of mind and sense of self are top priorities. Giving in to other's needs and expectations can cause stress, weakening your immunity and making you more vulnerable.
Learning to say "no" and walk away from unhealthy situations is so important. Anything else is simply not worth your time or energy.
Keep taking time to develop inner peace and strength through breathwork and meditation.
May all be blessed with peace, love and wisdom.