So friends, today something that everybody recognises. You talk with someone for ten minutes and afterwards you feel lighter, more joyful, more uplifted. And with someone else, after ten minutes you feel drained and tired, as if you are suddenly carrying a heavy burden. Some people call this an energy vampire.
It is not a type of person, it is a state
It is good to understand that there is not a race of vampires and a race of angels. Every one of us can sometimes take a lot of energy from others, and every one of us can sometimes give a lot of energy. It depends on the state we are in.
People start to take energy from others when there is an emptiness inside. Maybe they were bullied when they were young, maybe they didn’t feel loved, maybe something traumatic happened. From that emptiness a behaviour grows: always needing attention, always needing to put the negativity somewhere, always needing someone to feel sorry for them. They call a friend and pour out everything that went wrong today. Not out of bad intention, but because something inside is trying to be filled.
Look in the mirror too
It is very easy to think: ah, I know who the energy vampire in my life is. But don’t forget to also look in the mirror, right? When you put all your complaints on someone else, or you talk and talk without leaving any space for the other person, you are also draining someone’s energy. Become aware of how others affect your energy, and also of how your presence affects others.
Everything has an effect on your energy
Every action, every conversation, every place you are in has an effect on your energetic state. When you become aware of that, you can start to choose consciously. Where do I feel nourished? Where do I feel drained? Who uplifts me? This is not about judging people. It is about taking responsibility for your own energy.
How to protect your energy
- Learn to say no. Saying no to someone sometimes just means saying yes to yourself. You can be kind and still set a boundary.
- Breathe before you respond. When you feel someone pulling at your energy, take three slow breaths into the belly. It brings you back to your own centre instead of getting pulled into their state.
- Cleanse after a heavy conversation. Shake out the body, take a walk in nature, or do a few minutes of QiGong. Feel the energy flowing again.
- Fill yourself up first. When you take care of your own energy every day with breathwork, QiGong and meditation, there is less emptiness for others to drain, and you have more to give.
- Have compassion. Remember the emptiness behind the behaviour. You don’t have to carry it, but you can wish that person well.
A short QiGong practice to recharge
Stand with your feet hip-width apart, knees soft. Breathe in and slowly raise your arms in front of you up to shoulder height, as if they float on water. Breathe out and let them slowly sink down again, feeling heavy and relaxed. Do this ten times. Then place your hands on your lower belly and feel the warmth there for a few breaths. See yourself as a body of light, of life, nourished by everything around you.
When you develop this inner awareness, you stop needing other people’s energy, and you start to shine. And if everybody starts shining, this world becomes a very beautiful, bright place.
Continue your practice
If you want to learn to cultivate and protect your energy, my online QiGong course, Ocean of Energy, teaches you the movements, breathing and meditation to recharge every day. All my courses are pay what you can, so everyone can learn these practices, whatever their situation.
May we all be blessed with peace, love and wisdom.
Michaël
